December 15, 2005


I'm wallowing tonight. I'm a little hurt and a lot insulted, surprisingly for different reasons.

The first slap in the face came when it was time to finish decorating the conference room today. After the director walked by a few times and saw only me in there, he stopped to ask me what was going on. As I stepped up and down on the ladder, moving it over a few feet to tack more icicles on the ceiling, I told him that I was decorating. He asked me why I had been alone in there for more than an hour. I replied that I wasn't quite sure but that I was either incredibly less popular than I thought or we just work with a bunch of scrooges and grinches. I know for a fact that it was the latter, but just to make me feel better he rounded up some people to help me string lights and finish my winter wonderland. The room is almost complete and all of a sudden people are telling me what a beautiful job I've done with the simple idea. Whatever.

The next slap came when I found out that I wasn't selected for a job I'd applied for. It isn't so much that I'm not happy where I am, because I love my job and almost all the people I work with. It is more about the job opportunities in my current path and the better opportunities if I'd had gotten this other job. The slap came when I realized that even though I was much more qualified than the person selected, I wasn't even offered the opportunity to interview for the job. was just a panel of people looking at the qualified people on the list and them picking the person they wanted to have the job in the first place. Someone who has never done the job (I have), someone who shouldn't have been qualified to even apply for the job had they not lowered the grade, and someone who went and cried in the boss' office about how she wanted it. Sure, I can feel good about knowing that I didn't stoop to something so low and demeaning, but it still stings. It stings more that I wasn't pulled aside and just told what was going on. No, I had to hear it through the grapevine. I'm good enough to be the go-to person when anyone is out of the office for more than a few days. I'm good enough to be the person to always ask for help on various projects. I'm good enough to to always be hearing, "I don't know, go ask Michelle." Evidently I'm not good enough to be given the chance to shine in any other capacity.

So on with the wallowing tonight. I'll be fine tomorrow. Me and my ego would like another beer, a good night's sleep...and perhaps one more cookie.

Posted by rowEn at 07:42 PM