August 21, 2004

leaving, on a jet plane

So here it is, almost 1am and I'm still not all the way packed for my flight in the morning. I've already decided that I'll just be up all night. The alarm is set for 3am. Really, what is the point in even taking off my clothes and trying to sleep? Isn't that what the window seat is for on the plane?

Everything is ready for Monday. The certified check which, thankfully, is much less than I thought it was going to have to be. The original POA is in my purse and everyone and their brother seems to have gotten a copy faxed to them. The camera is charging right now and I've got extra batteries just in case. The last load of clothes is in the dryer and then will be in the suitcase. All extra copies of paperwork are going in the suitcase just in case.

The only thing missing is John.

I was expecting to feel more right now. I'm not exactly sure more what, but just...more. I'm excited about buying the house, about seeing it for the first time and all, but there is a big part of me that is just screaming inside that this just isn't quite the same. He should be here for this. He should be holding my hand as we fly across the country. He should be with me when we pull up to the house for the first time. He should be getting a hand cramp right along with me as we sign our names a million times, not me signing two million times and adding "by POA" on every other one.

He should just be here for this. And for sex.

Posted by rowEn at 01:00 AM | Comments (3)