May 06, 2003

What happened....

So about the day I hurt my back at the end of March, I got an email. There was a lot of pain happening and I ended up blowing this person off for a few days. I really was in no shape to even talk on the phone. On the day that I finally returned to work, I agreed to have Sabine call me on my cell. The funny part of this is that I never fully read her email to me. I read the first few paragraphs and responded to those, neglecting to read the rest and not wanting to sit in my chair any longer. So I talked with her on the phone and she told me a lot about herself and her thoughts on the project that she wanted to undertake. After I got off the phone, I did a google search and found her name. Then I had a few minutes of gushing and humiliation that I had blown her off that week. Really, it was the pain meds!

Anyway, she called again that night when I got off work and we talked for quite a bit about what she wanted to do with my journal. Some of you reading have found this place by the link on MSN. I have no idea how that link came about but I have appreciated each and every hit, comment and email. Best line from our phone conversation was Sabine thanking me for not having any "dancing teddy bears, bad music and 'I hate the Dixie Chicks' banners" on my site. Anyway, in a nutshell (and I have no way of saying this without feeling like I am conceited as fucking hell)....she likes my writing, especially as it relates to being a military wife. I don't gloss over the bad shit and pretend that life is all hearts and flowers while he is gone. I also don't just sit around moaning and beating my breast because he is gone. What you see here is pretty much what you get and how life is for us right now. My life doesn't stop when he is gone and I honestly don't think he'd want it to anyway. I have a child to raise and cats to play with and fish to not kill. I have to keep the yard looking nice or we get in trouble. I have a job that I have to go to every day. I have a life and refuse to not live it fully just because John isn't here.

So...the project. Sabine felt that perhaps some European publishers would be interested in hearing about the life of an American military wife. As in life, timing is everything...so by the time the outlines were done and everything sent off, and the holidays in Europe all done...well, the war had kinda petered out. The publishers enjoyed reading everything but it wasn't quite so "timely" any longer. Thanks but no thanks....put your website back up.

Do I have plans or thoughts on writing a book still? Oh good lord no. I don't think that I have the patience to go back and edit my work. It was a great ego boost to have a real author tell me that she liked what I wrote (and Hi Sabine! I hope you are still reading! Can't wait for your next book!) but I've never thought about being an author. I would feel like a total poser! I love writing here and putting my thoughts out there...but I don't consider myself a writer or author or anything along those lines. I've lucked out a few times and strung some words together in just the right way to move a few people. That does not make me a writer.

That just makes me...me.

Posted by rowEn at 11:11 AM | Comments (4)