March 07, 2003

F is for Fragmented

(and I bet you all thought I would pick the OTHER f-word!)

Fragmented - A small part broken off or detached. An incomplete or isolated portion; a bit.

OK, so I really was going to use F*ck as today's word but decided against it. The referrals just from that word alone can be, well, weird.

Fragmented. Fragments. There are many times that I feel like our life (my family's collective lives that is) is made up of fragments. Little blocks of time that can be categorized by the places that we have lived.

A fragment of time spent in Germany. Being pregnant with the WildChild. Making some great friends. Living in the tiny attic apartment for six months. Watching our friends get sent to war. Staying awake all night listening to the radio when war finally broke out (we had no TV reception).

A fragment of time spent here. Making more great friends. Working at a great job. Having my mental breakdown during his second deployment. Realizing that voodoo brain meds are probably a good thing. Our marriage coming apart at the seams.

A fragment of time spent in El Paso. Friends. Sewing those seams back together, tiny stitch by tiny stitch. Realizing that I really *am* destined to spend the rest of my life with this man and perhaps I should stop fucking things up. Fighting to make sure we could go with him to Korea.

A fragment of time spent in Korea. Friends again. Loving the first year and hating the second. Being so homesick for America. Being on virtual house arrest after September 11th. Lots of crying. Finding out we were coming home.

The current fragment of time here, now. Friends and family. Wondering when he will retire. Wondering where we will go when that happens. Wondering when (I am so beyond 'if' right now) he will be deployed outside of the country. Wondering about a lot of things but loving every minute of it.

This has been an Alpha Bytes entry.

Posted by rowEn at 11:26 AM | Comments (2)