8:03 - Garfunkel has obviously not made as much money as Simon. Simon seems to have purchased some good drugs...he looks like shit.
8:08 - Why is Dustin Hoffman talking? Didn't he just say that nobody is hosting this show? Shut up and stop acting like a host!
8:12 - I thought Gwen Stefani had boobs. They seem to have disappeared.
8:16 - Is this going to be another show where whoever just performed wins the next award?
SIDENOTE: WildChild just asked me if Gwen was the girl in Tank Girl. I have no idea where that came from.
8:21 - Oh look, mobster time! Joey Pants needs a stylist.
8:25 - Just asked to be with Kylie just to make Brittany jealous. Y'all know that, right?
8:27 - Seee?!?! #2 in the "sing then win" theory.
8:29 - Back away from the peroxide Ms. Hill. And what the hell is up with those sleeve-like things?
8:38 - Is Paul Schaeffer moonlighting as a pimp now?
8:44 - OK, I actually like this James Taylor song.
8:48 - P. diddy....she's married. Stop hitting on her, you just look like the ass that you are.
8:49 - #3 in the perform/win!
8:59 - Natalie dear, you need a stylist as well. Did they let you do your own hair, too?
9:04 - #4 in the perform/win.
9:17 - I am TiVo deprived...what did Coldplay's singer have written on his hand? Awesome performance.
9:29 - Robin Williams wins for sweating on stage?
9:32 - Avril is on...I'm expecting the WildChild to come out into the living room in a minute.
9:44 - Nelly is singing. I'm pretty sure that he is one person. Who are the other singers up there with him? Can I get a job as a professional suck-up? Does it pay well?
9:49 - Fred, I understand that you want to make a political statement. Please try to use real words. Agreeance?
9:57 - Robin Williams should be forced to read from the teleprompter.
10:19 - How many times are they going to tell me about the special tribute to the Bee Gees? Just let the boy band butcher the songs already!
10:24 - They couldn't find someone more appropriate to introduce the Bee Gees segment? I feel like I'm watching 60 minutes again.
10:28 - Isn't the little boy band boy on the far left looking a little chunky?
10:39 - Let's see if Em can sing the song without needing to be bleeped.
10:41 - So far so good. ooooo, spoke too soon, there was a silence. And another. What's that, three? I'm a little iffy on the second one. And a partial standing ovation?
10:44 - Oh Aretha...when did you become the Good Fairy?
10:53 - Vince Vaughn still looks creepy as hell. I don't care if he does have on a rose colored tie.
10:55 - This duet sucks ass. Personal opinion of course.
10:57 - Someone please introduce Ms. Lauper to something called a slip.
11:00 - Oh look, we're running over on time. What a surprise! NOT
11:13 - RIP Joe...but this is a kick-ass tribute!
11:23 - And to think...I used to have a huge crush on Peter Gabriel. Good lord does he look bad!
11:27 - Finally...it is over and I can now go watch my Survivor tape.