December 11, 2002

Update 12-11-02

I'm not going to accept the full time position at work. Not only did John and I both think it wasn't worth it, I got a letter in the mail about a job I had applied for a long time ago. In a nutshell, they love me and will probably have a job opening after the new year.

I'm taking it as some kind of sign that the full time job just isn't right for me at the moment.

Posted by rowEn at 12:58 PM | Comments (0)

Belated & Bothered

I feel like such a heel! I forgot to wish my little sister Happy Birthday! I had kinda cheated for the Holidailies and written/posted the last post so early on the 10th that I didn't worry about it last night. Of course, I work up this morning and realized my mistake.

I'm going to talk in vagueness right now but I've got some things about work on my mind and I don't know how else to deal with them.

Last week and earlier this week I was subbing for another instructor. Nothing new or strange in that since everyone knows I'm always looking for more hours. It was a class that I'm a) not that strong in and b) with students that are completely different than the students I teach at night. I did alright and the students learned what they were supposed to learn.

Yesterday my boss tells me that there will be an opportunity to go full time (3 more hours per day) teaching this class (subject, not people) that I was subbing in. He voiced his concerns as well as the positive. I don't have to make a final decision today thankfully....but I'm wavering because of a few reasons.

Doing this class would be all energy, all the time. These students have usually failed with mainstream education at some point, so teaching in that kind of setting with that kind of mindset doesn't help them see that they can succeed. I am very used to my night students that have already committed to finishing school. They already know the basics, my job is to teach them how to use them and put things together. I honestly don't know if I could be "on" like I would need to be for both classes. It is exhausting some days playing teacher / mentor / cheerleader / mom / referee.

My other concern is the WildChild. I would never be home when she gets home from school. As it is now, some days that is the only time I see her. When I'm working extra classes, I can go days without seeing her or John. I don't know that I'm really ready to give that up. With my schedule the way it is now, I don't HAVE to take the extra shifts. I could be home every day when she gets home and making sure that she is doing her homework. I know that I've been talking about finding a day job which would essentially be taking that time away from me...but the trade off would be eight extra hours of pay per day instead of three. The trade-off as far as my time is the same but the money would be much higher (meaning I could do it for a shorter amount of time and quit one of the jobs when we're in a much more comfortable financial state)

I'm not quite sure what to do and I can't discuss this with anyone at work. I'm going to discuss it with John when he comes home for lunch today. I think in my heart I don't really want to do it. I'm not quite ready to give up that time for the little extra money that it would bring in.

Posted by rowEn at 09:52 AM | Comments (2221)