October 03, 2000

Mogi marumnikka? (Moe-ghee mah-rume-nee-kkah?) Are you thirsty?

Billy and the Thins tried valiantly to kick my ass during Instruction yesterday, but I foiled them! Yes, I finally finished that portion of the tape. Now, I know there are tons of people out there that can do the advanced with their eyes closed and hands tied behind their back while sleeping on their head, but I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of myself for not quitting and just throwing the DVD off the balcony. I'm proud that I've got a good enough friend to kick my ass from 5000 miles away and force me to go do the video. I'm proud that I didn't die right then and there of heart failure or something. I'm proud that my eyes didn't start bleeding when I realized that the woman in the back row had a big 'ol camel-toe. I'm proud that I didn't do any structural damage to the apartment or myself while learning various kicks and punches. I'm proud that I didn't make enough noise that the downstairs neighbor would think I was doing a remodeling project in the middle of the floor. Oh, did I say I AM proud? Change that to WAS. Because baby, I hurt this morning.

It's been waaaaaaaay too long since I've done anything more strenuous than, well, walking. Walking takes care of the most basic of muscle groups since I don't do it for exercise, so imagine my surprise when right after finishing I found that I do, indeed, have muscles in my arms. That hurt! I'm convinced that the only reason I can type this morning is because I have bad form and lay my arms on the desk. I don't think that I could hold them up in proper form. I had to use the big Tupperware cup for coffee this morning to ensure that I don't have to make multiple trips to the kitchen and can continue to sit here a bit longer. See, I'm procrastinating. I am going to do the stretching portion this morning and see how I feel. If I feel up to it, I will continue, but I'm fairly certain that stretching should be in my immediate future.

And now for something completely different...

Dear Child of Mine--
Have I mentioned how much I love you lately? Because I do, you should always know that. I sat and watched you doing your homework yesterday and realized that you aren't a little girl any longer. You are quickly racing into becoming a young woman and that scares me. You don't need me, or even want me, to be there to watch you get on the school bus, because your friends might think you are a 'baby'. You are starting to assert your own opinion about things instead of just letting Mommy and Daddy decide everything. You have a greater understanding of the world around you than I give you credit for most days. I'm sorry about that. Please understand that I am having a very difficult time with the transition, and most days just wish you could go back to being 4. What happened to the days of only wanting a new Barbie? I feel as though I'm not emotionally prepared for this.

I watched you last Friday with your friends. You are a natural leader, always coming up with an idea, always wanting to be the first to do something, never afraid. I used to think that it was mean of us to just have you. I know that when you were younger, you always asked for a baby brother or sister. You stopped asking years ago. Why? Was it just because you are content or did you just give up? I hope it is the former. Like all parents, we just want the best for you. I also feel that you should have a say in your future, which is why we ask you questions all the time.

I realized, not long ago, that when we moved this time, you were old enough to have it effect you emotionally. You had formed close friendships and emotional ties. I remember being heartbroken, seeing the look on you face when you realized that we probably will never go back to El Paso. I want you to know that it is OK to cry and miss people, but to keep in mind that where you are at right now is pretty good too. I think you are happy here. You tell me you are, but I'm sure that I will continue to worry about it forever.

Know that no matter what you do or where you go, you will always be my 'baby', but I promise not to make that evident in front of your friends right now. I respect you and your opinions, and I promise to weigh them along with my own when trying to make a decision that effects you. I look at you each day, and I'm filled with love and wonder and amazement at what a fine young lady you are.

Love,

Mom

Posted by rowEn at 12:24 PM | Comments (2295)